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The Caretaker - horror DVD / suspense thriller DVD review
THE CARETAKER Rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America curledupdvd.com rating: 2 stars
Actors: Jennifer Tilly, Judd Nelson, Jennifer Freeman, Jonathan Breck
Director: Bryce Olson   Distributor: MTI Home Video
DVD release: 23 February 2010   Runtime: 90 minutes (1 disc)
Format: AC-3, Color, Dolby, DVD, NTSC, Subtitled, Surround Sound, Widescreen
DVD features: Aspect ratio 1.77:1, Audio tracks (English - Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround, Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo), Subtitles (Spanish), Trailers

Eliza Dushku stars in OPEN GRAVESThe plot: an evil slasher named "The Caretaker" stalks a group of teens on Halloween night who have foolishly gone to his old stomping grounds. He starts picking them off one by one, aaaand. that's it.

There is nothing remotely original about this tale and nothing to really recommend it, not even to slasher fans. The victims are cookie-cutter teens straight out of Slasher Film 101, the villain is not at all interesting or original, nor is there any real gore or inventive kills. To put it bluntly, when the most memorable scene in a movie involves a brief topless scene by an early victim in which she puts a flashlight against each breast and screams "Boobie-lanterns!" that should tell you there is better ways to spend an hour and a half of your life.

I can't be sure, but I get a strong sense from watching this film that director Bryce Olson has seen many, many slasher movies and has always dreamed of making one. However, unlike Quentin Tarantino (or, to a lesser extent, Eli Roth), Olson does not take what he has seen countless times before and turn it into anything original. Even though past horrors are supposed to have occurred there, the location is not creepy (just an empty one-story house), the teens are not worth caring about, and the next tame kill is seen coming a mile away. In short, the film is not scary, not gory, and not worth the time of even the most hardcore slasher fan.

What is most memorable about this movie, in fact, is the rather sad appearance of two familiar faces, Jennifer Tilly and Judd Nelson. I have to give credit to Tilly, who brings her usual chutzpah to any role (and, as usual, tries to make chicken salad out of a chicken sh*t part). She is somewhat funny as a teacher who will do whatever it takes to find her 15 minutes of fame, be it sleeping with a student or a serial killer. Poor Judd Nelson, however, has two small scenes, but clearly looks like he would rather be anywhere else than onscreen. Indeed, he looks at times like he is rushing through both scenes as fast as he can so that he can go kill his agent and then drive off a cliff.

The scariest thing about The Caretaker is seeing what happened to Judd and Jennifer's careers. Even for a slasher fan looking for some mindless, tasteless entertainment, there are plenty of better options out there.

Extras:
Just a trailer.
 
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reviewed by Trent Daniel
   
         
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